How To Drink A Beer

Now, I know that you’re a big,

you’re a beer aficionado.

Is that true?
Somewhat, yeah.

You like your beer?

(crowd cheering)

You’ve incorporated it into your…

Into your character.

I have been known to sip
an occasional beverage.

(audience laughter)

You like the beer, you like–

Yeah, I dig beer.

We had–

(audience laughter)

we brought you some beer here,

’cause I thought we’d want you to–

(audience cheering)

But you were–

You guys making me, I feel right at home.

Yeah, I wanted you to
feel comfortable here.

Appreciate it.

I wanted you to drink a lot and then

I would beat you senseless.

(laughter)

I just fight pretty good drunk, yeah.

Oh, okay well.

I got that goin’ for me too.

I’m no good either way.

Multi-faceted over here.

So I thought maybe you could show us,

’cause you’re very
imaginative and colorful

in the way that you drink beer.

Maybe you could
demonstrate for Andy and I.

(audience cheering)

By the way, there you go, want some?

(audience cheering)

It’s the only way to drink beer.

(audience cheering)

Well, if I’m drinking,
you gotta drink too.

Yeah, yeah, all right.

There you go.

Let’s go, and what do we do?

You open it up.

You know how to open that beer, don’t you?

Mm-hmm, yeah, I do.

I will need a straw though.

(laughter)

There you go.

Okay, just one, or are you–

All right, now show us what to do.

Well of course you gotta
crash ’em together.

What do you mean?

Someone could get hurt.

No, you just gotta take a firm hold on it.

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A little bit, yeah, about like that.

I like that, and you go like what?

Ready?

(beer cans crashing)

(audience cheering)

Something like that?

Aww no, no, no, no.

That’s not gonna cut it.

(audience cheering)

If you’re gonna go, no.

(audience cheering)

I have my own method.

We’re going to do the Stone
Cold 101 on beer drinking.

All right, what do you do?

You slam it again, and
this time, and then I get–

We’ve already slammed,
we’ve already done that,

so now we’re just drinking.

Okay, and do you just literally just

pour it into your mouth?

Yeah, you gotta swallow a few times now.

(audience laughing)

(Conan clears throat)

(audience cheering)

All right, all right, now.

You’re sitting over there,

you’re not gonna sit
over there and get away.

You’re drinking beer with us, right?

All right, all right, here we go.

You gotta give it a shot.

(audience cheering)

There you go, look at
that, a beer-drinker.

Now, you did that well,

but you gotta get a little distance.

Now, what’s the next one?

Well, you’re drinkin’ beer, come on now,

you impressed me with the first one.

(audience laughing)

Anybody can get lucky.

I love it, you don’t have
to twist his arm, Steve.

He’d been waiting for
me to come on this show.

Oh, I don’t know, oh, all right.

All right, so you’re in an
arena full of 20,000 people,

the building is sold out,

you’re right in the center of the ring.

Well, it’s easy to drink
beer for the first row,

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but you gotta drink beer for the last row.

[Conan] Right.

So that’s why you gotta get that extension

in there with the arm.

And if you stand up, it’s
easier for the beer to go down.

So we stand up–

So you’d be standing up.

All right.

(audience cheering)

Okay, very good, you doing.

And go, how high?

(audience cheering)

Beautiful.

How do you feel?

No, how do you feel?

How do you feel?

Good.

You all right?

Yeah.

You ready for the salute?

Yeah.

Are you?

What’s the salute?

Middle fingers.

No, we’re not gonna, come on.

Oh, how you doin’ over there?

I have some old ladies
that watch this show.

I’m doing, oh, all right, here we go.

(audience cheering)

This guy’s a real drinker already.

(Conan laughs)

Does he just do this job on the side?

Or what’s the deal there?

[Conan] Oh, he’s got a problem.

(laughter)

 

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